“The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one.”
— Elbert Hubbard (1856-1915)

When you say what you fear out loud, you will often find how ridiculous, or inaccurate, or inappropriate it is for your life. I had a talk a while back with my husband about one of the fears holding me back from making some simple phone calls. I had to call some people that I didn’t know in order to set up an interview time with them. In my mind I knew that this was no big deal for me to do. I have definitely done more challenging tasks or assignments. So what was holding me back? Why was I so afraid to just make these calls? I had been procrastinating for over two weeks now, coming up with excuse after excuse as to why I should put it off until the next day.

Well, with a little self-probing I realized that it wasn’t making the phone calls that was posing the problem, but making the phone calls with my husband within earshot. I was fearing his judgment or criticism of me and my ability to call up strangers to book an interview. No wait, take it a step further, I was afraid he would think that I am not as competent as I always lead him to believe. I wanted to make the calls when he wasn’t around, so that if I said something “stupid”, he wouldn’t know about it and couldn’t criticize me. So really, I was fearing being criticized by someone who I really respect and value their opinion. Read the rest of this entry »

“There’s an infinite amount of work. The big question is what do I have to do today, this week, this month, this quarter?” — Christine Comaford-Lynch

We have all most likely done it more than once in our life. We decide to sacrifice lunch with a friend or figure it’s not that important to get that sleep you so desperately needed. Or what about the classic, “Sure I can do that” when you already have a full agenda… and that new task isn’t even in line with your personal goals.

What would you gain with those choices? There will always be more work tomorrow. This doesn’t mean you should slack off. It is all about real life balance though. And what “real life” balance means, is that things don’t have to be perfect. There may have to be a slight lean on your table when one leg tends to take more attention than the other three at times. It means that you shift and adjust.

But you need to remember that it is supposed to be about joy. It’s supposed to lead you to your happiness. And if somewhere along the road that you find yourself now traveling you realize that you are no longer heading in the right direction, you need to make some real life changes.

And remember, it’s ok to say “no thanks”. It’s ok to say “Hey, this isn’t what I want to be doing now”. “This is not taking me to my joy, my goal, my passion.” Breathe, and get back on track — YOUR track.

“Intuition is the supra-logic that cuts out all the routine processes of thought and leaps straight from the problem to the answer.”
— Robert Graves

Be in your body because it is where intuition lives. In our busy lives, many of us typically function only with our heads. This is actually very counterintuitive and tends to cut off our vital energy flow and may not lead us in the right direction.

Take a moment to reconnect with yourself, with your body. Your body has wisdom and sends you messages regularly. Your mind is important, but sometimes it is so busy it forgets to check in and see how the body is responding.

When making a decision, notice your body’s signals. Do you feel energized? Comfortable? Is your breathing effortless? Your gut calm? Are your shoulders loose? Or do you have a sick feeling in your stomach? A lump in your throat? In all your choices, tuning in to what your body says is a naturally given gift for keeping on track with your higher self.

“It takes 30 days for a change in behavior to become a habit, and six months for a habit to become the automatic way a person does things, … If they haven’t changed in 30 days, it’s not happening.”
— Mark Goulston

Habits are funny things. At first they seem not so easy to make. And then there are others that seem impossible to break. You know what I mean. Making new good habits like working out, eating healthy, going to bed at a more reasonable hour. Sounds so simple, yet after a week or so, I find the tendency to let them slip. And then changing the old (shall we say bad) habits, how come they seem so challenging to break?

So what can you do? Well, some studies show that it can take anywhere from 30 days to 6 months to change your behaviours (habits) either adding new good ones or eliminating the bad ones. So that means keeping at it until you make it over that hurdle. Often, when you do something especially when your mind and
body is fighting against your better direction, it solidifies the change process.

So, choose an action today that challenges you and moves you forward. Take that action today, in spite of any negative feelings or what your mind might tell you. Write it down first thing in the morning and at the end of the day, write down the feelings that came with accomplishing the action and how it has helped you grow.

“You must BE the change you want to see in the world.”
— Mahatma Gandhi

What could you work on now that would make a difference to your life. Simply pick one thing that you could change or improve that would give you a new start, a new perspective, a new direction.

You may want to look at the things that concern you in the world. Or you could start with your day-to-day routines. Making a difference to your life could be as simple as picking up the clutter in your house. Gives you immediate results (a cleaner house). May help to reduce your levels of stress (mess is stress). And gives you a goal to maintain your new sense of well-being (keeping the clutter from accumulating, therefore less work for the future).

So that was my one thing to make a change quickly and effectively. Now your turn. What’s one thing can you do today to put on your list of successes and make you feel better? Remember, it’s a start. And sometimes that’s all you need to get the journey of change rolling the way you really want it to. Before you know it, there will be a long list of accomplishments to your name.

“Most people are so busy knocking themselves out trying to do everything they think they should do, they never get around to what they want to do.”
— Unknown

Do you feel happiest when you are busy, productive, or working on a project? What happens when you have quiet time? Some people use work to avoid dealing with unhappiness or challenges in their personal lives, such as an unhappy marriage.

In order for happiness to be authentic and last, it must come from more than work. Balance in joy comes when we are with our families, learning new things, helping others, and yes, even when we are in quiet solitude.

See if you are experiencing the busy-bee syndrome, avoiding all that life has to offer and resolve to bring balance in your life through joy in everything and everyone.

“When I look back on all these worries, I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed that he had had a lot of trouble in his life, most of which had never happened”
— Winston Churchill

I just finished writing to my step-daughter about worrying. She is in the middle of a worry-fest and I needed to help her release her fears around the situation. Why?

First because she doesn’t even know what she is dealing with, and therefore she is expending a lot of energy on something that she can’t even put a real name to, let alone do anything about right now. Secondly, because she is such a busy person that it is a complete waste of her time to focus any of her thoughts into such an unknown territory. As this anonymous quote points out well, “Worry is like a rocking chair—it gives you something to do but it doesn’t get you anywhere.” And she has plenty of better things to do and bigger places to go.

So my advice for those who fall into the common habit of worry; keep living and solve the issues when they come up, because if they aren’t real enough to fix right now, they may not exist at all.

“We must not, in trying to think about how we can make a big difference, ignore the small daily differences we can make which, over time, add up to big differences that we often cannot foresee.” — Marian Wright-Edelman

Call it baby-steps, Kaizen theory, day by day. You name it. What it adds up to is change. It may not seem it at first… and it shouldn’t if you are taking it slowly and steadily. But it does make a more lasting impression on your lifestyle and mind. And it actively creates permanent, positive change in your life.

“For most folks, no news is good news; for the press, good news is not news.”
— Gloria Borger

Turn on the TV and watch the news and what will you see? Most likely you will get a recap of the days violence in your city and around the world. OK, now read the paper. What do you get there? More violence, fraud, and negativity most likely, focusing primarily on informing us of things to fear in life.

It’s no wonder that with all these negative images and stories that we find ourselves focusing on the negative things in our lives as well. This also can help to escalate the fear-based reactions in our day to day living.

What if we were to focus on not only surrounding ourselves with positive people, but positive news as well? Imagine we would celebrate together as a society all the good things that are happening in our city and around the world. Maybe we would be building up the positive energy in our minds to the point where it would be spreading faster than the negative energy?

Spread the positive energy by surrounding yourself with happy news and stories. And then tell others of these happy events as well. Here’s a web site with just happy news for your fun and enjoyment: Happy News

“Appreciation is a powerful tool to shift perspective. Finding something to appreciate during a difficult situation quickly moves the perspective to the big picture from the little picture.”
— Doc Childre and Bruce Cryer, From Chaos to Coherence

What do you have to appreciate in your life right now? During the challenging moments in our life, learning to shift perspective can be the true key to your present and future happiness and success.

In our daily bustle and routine, we may slip into a state of complaint or pity. And it is when we allow our focus to remain on the difficult situations that the pain and challenge seems to amplify.

Allow yourself to find something good in the picture and allow that to grow instead. As you get the benefit of both perspectives you will learn to be consistently thankful and approving, and your life will subsequently grow in value. Read the rest of this entry »